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1)Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Tupac Shakur is a Jewish holiday.
2)What do Christmas trees and priests have in common?
Their balls are just for decoration!
3)There were nine blondes and a brunette hanging of a rope 100 stories high. They had decided that one of them had to get off.
They argued and argued and finally the brunette said 'I'll go.'
The brunette made a touching speech and all the blondes clapped.
4) One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit shit. One of the boys said, 'What is that?'
'They're smart pills,' said the other boy. 'Eat them and they'll make you smarter.
So he ate them and said, 'These taste like shit.'
'See,' said the other boy, 'you're already getting smarter.'
5)Your chest is so flat, the walls are getting jealous
6) Two guys are golfing on a course that is right next to a cemetery. After they tee off, one of the golfers notices that there is a funeral procession passing by. So he takes off his hat, and places it over his heart. When the funeral is over, the other golfer looks at the guy and asks, 'Why did you do that?'
The man replies, 'Well we were maried for almost 40 years. It's the least I could do.'
7)there was a pregnant woman having twins (8 months pregnant) a man robbs her and shoots her twics in the stomach. the babies were all right untill one day wen the boy wanked and shot a dog
8) Did you hear about the new Mike Tyson Computer?
It has two bytes and no memory.
9)What do you call someone in the White House who is honest, ethical, intellectual, law abiding, and truthful?
A tourist.
10)My wife came home the other night and told me to take off her blouse.
Then she told me to take off her skirt. Then she told me never to wear her clothes again.
11)yo mama's so stupid, her idea of safe sex is to lock the car doors
12)Three men, an Scot, an English man and a sumo wrestler were going to commit suicide by jumping of the top of a building
The Scot jumped off and shouted 'God save Scotland!'
The English man jumped off and shouted 'God Save England!'
The Sumo wrestler jumped off and shouted 'God save the person who I land on!'
13)A blonde told her doctor that she was really worried because every part of her body hurt
The doctor looked concerned and said, "Show me where "
The blonde touched her own arm and screamed, "Ouch!"
Then she touched her leg and screamed, "Ouch!"
She touched her nose and cried, "Ouch!"
She looked at her doctor and said, "See It hurts everywhere!"
The doctor laughed and said, "Don't worry only you finger is broken
14)What should u do if u come across an elephant
A: Apologize and wipe it off
15)A blond died her hair brown because she was tired of being picked on, She was driving along the countryside when she got a bright idea and stopped at a nearby farm she said to the farmer "If i can tell u how many sheep u have in total can I have one " "ok" said the farmer, so she quickly counted them and said 91 The farmer looked around astonished and said "alright take one" As she was walking back 2 her car the farmer says "if i can guess ur natural hair colour i get to have my dog back"
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